The Power of Building Positive Relationships

Learning Objective: Teachers will be able to (TWBAT) use positive relationships to effortlessly manage their classes.

Do you ever notice how some teachers can just walk into any classroom and, almost magically, have the attention and respect of every student in the room? These teachers discovered the most powerful classroom management tool--building positive relationships. The more students know and respect you, the more they will work and behave for you in the classroom. Here are five things you can implement now to start building those positive relationships with your students.

1. Be Informed & Intentional

So often, we enter the classroom and demand our students’ respect, simply because we are the teacher. Sorry folks; it doesn’t work that way. I mean, think about it, when was the last time you automatically respected someone you just met? Respect doesn’t happen unless a positive relationship is established, and getting to know each of your students is the starting point. My Student Survey Sheet (for students to tell me about themselves) and my BRAG Sheet (for the parents to tell me something positive about their child) are the ways I try to get to know my students. The key though, is to read and refer to them. I can’t only be informed, I must also be intentional with my interactions. Try to develop a greeting routine or schedule time during your class to make personal connections with each student.

2. Be Calm & Clear

Students’ lives are already so hectic with constant change and endless expectations. Think about how many times they have to switch brain modes just between class periods. I have found that students truly appreciate a calm place where they know what is expected of them and where they can trust the person in control. My advice is simple: slow down. Rushing can not only create anxiety for the students, but also translate to you are not in control. Gold star tip: Keep your water bottle nearby and sip often. Those mini pauses appear natural and give you time to develop a clear message, instead of word-vomiting roundabout instructions that no one can follow. Remember, the goal is classy and composed.

3. Be Fair

This is a tricky one because fairness doesn’t alway look the same to everyone. However, if I were to emphasize one tip to maintain a fair environment, it would be to find a way to hold yourself accountable for calling on students equitably. Popsicle sticks, calling cards, or even an online name picker can help you not always pick on the “off-task Timmy” or “super-smart-Sally.” Gold Star Tip: Be sure to provide time for students to think and check-in with their partner before asking them to share out with the class. This way everyone should have something to say and it doesn’t appear you are intentionally putting any one person on the spot.

4. Be Consistent

In a world of so much inconsistency, the last thing kids need is another person to let them down. If you initiate a relationship with a student, maintain it. If you made clear and fair expectations, stick to them. You need to do exactly what you say you’ll do, especially when it comes to disciplining students. If you appear wishy-washy or don’t treat all students equally, students will quickly discover it, and lose respect for you.

5. Be Encouraging

As teachers, we need to know how to correct our students in a positive and constructive way. A quote in my colleague's classroom says it best, “Mistakes are expected, respected, inspected, and corrected.” Here are 5 steps to follow when correcting students:

1. Review what happened. Do not forget to acknowledge and accept the student’s feelings.

2. Discuss alternative actions. Listen to and provide options.

3. Explain the policy, emphasizing you are disappointed that you have to invoke a consequence, but it is fair to treat all students the same.

4. Invoke an immediate and meaningful consequence.

5. Communicate your expectation for improvement, but also remind students that they have the ability to meet those expectations.

While correcting students, remember the importance of staying classy and composed. You need to be a positive role model, meaning you shouldn’t overreact and lose emotional control. Also, after disciplining a student, don’t forget to celebrate success, even the small ones. Remember, students will remember how you made them feel while giving them their consequence, rather than the actual consequence itself.

If you have any helpful classroom management tips, please feel free to share them below. Now your inspirational quote for the week:

“Students learn more from who you are, than what you teach.”